Holding On to Me

Over the last 13 months I do not remember a single morning or evening when I have not begun my prayer with "Lord, I'm tired....". Well unless you count the times when I've started, "Lord, I am SO tired." Many days this has been the beginning and ending of my prayer, my sole thought as I am crawling into bed. I'd like to say that I have at least done a better job at praying through out my day. But not so. Mostly I've been a popcorn prayer, "Lord, help me not to lose my temper right now." "Lord, please just give me enough strength to get through the next five minutes." "Oh God, please let the babies stay asleep long enough for me to brush my teeth." There have been prayers of thanks too -- for the warm sunny day, for the $1 clothing clearance that started just as I walked into the store, for my husband who does supper dishes almost daily.

Lately, I've been thinking though. The babies are now over a year old. It has been at least that long since I've had a regular time where I could spend even just 15 minutes alone with my Bible and my God. Good Christian mamas are supposed to have a daily quiet time and so I've been trying to find a creative way to put this back into my life. Today I got to chat about it with a dear, dear friend whom I haven't visited with in well over a decade. I love this friend for so many reasons, but especially because she is just so practical and real.

These are some of the bits that I gleaned from our chat.

When running a marathon, the runner doesn't stop in the midst to sit down and eat a meal. She grabs protein bars and shakes, snacks along the way. And she's thankful for the times before the race began when she sat and ate healthy food in order to help sustain her body through this time.

God has a lot of confidence in His grace.

And finally, How great is God's love and grace that He holds onto me even when I cannot possibly hold on to Him.

So I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing. I'll start each morning telling God that I'm tired, and end each day the same with some chatter and praise and a plea for wisdom and mercy, until one morning I wake up feeling a little less tired. I'll just keep trusting and praising because He's holding on to me even when I haven't the strength to lift my arms to Him.

Peacefully BuZzInG!
Misty